Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Free Abortion and Egg Drop Soup Day!

On March 19, 2006, we will be providing free abortions to any qualified patient. This event will occur nationwide in celebration of the 126th anniversary of the birth of William Jennings Bryan - the great populist communicator and enemy of humanity.

In addition, free Egg Drop Soup will be provided to all who provide support and protection for the occasion. We acknowledge this food would be impossible to provide in a strict vegetarian environment, so we will pay silent homage to all embryo donors - man or fowl.

Tasty!

As of today, we have three cities willing to participate - Boston, Atlanta, and Topeka. With the confirmation of ultra right wing-nut, Sam Alito, we anticipate at least one dozen more cities will be willing to offer services later this month. Look for announcements!

Enjoy your right to unfettered sex while you can, fellow Americans! Later this decade, the Supreme Court will make illegal sodomy (oral and anal sex), death with dignity (pain is what God wants for some of us), and stem-cell research (science is the Devil's work).

Hell, contraception will soon be illegal! The "Pill" allows conception but prevents implantation of the embryo egg-drop onto the uterine wall.

So, you women who think that your daily "pill" allows innocent consensual sex with a variety of sperm donors - think again! You are killing your child when you take the Pill!

This will soon be illegal, as it should be.

Actually, good Christians world over know that sex is a gift from God to be enjoyed ONLY in the confines of Holy Matrimony - which the State defines! When us wing-nuts get our way, only marital sex ordained by your local Priest/Preacher will be allowed. Of course, they get to fuck anything that moves in the meantime, including little boys! It's God's way!

Pregnancy will require a permit. If not, how could we insure that women do not fly away and about their Egg Drop? We must match each conception with every birth or miscarraige in order to protect each unique "snowflake".

That's right! Each little Egg Drop is a "snowflake" that God breathes life into! All unique and full of His divine breathe! That is why they must be protected.

Unless he kills the little fuckers himself. But as God, that is his prerogative. He is a vengeful giant that we must fear, of course. And as chief abortionist, his will be done.

So, what about that yummy Egg Drop, you ask?

Wait till the 19th!